Love and Authority in Dead Poet’s Society
Being the authority figure is always difficult when we are trying to find the median between fun and strict, but when we don’t take into consideration one side of the balance, we fall farther into the pit of isolation and regret. In the movie Dead Poet’s Society directed by Peter Weir, a group of boys in a strict preparatory school learn to navigate life with the help of the untraditional teacher Mr. Keating. In particular, we see one young man, Neal, and his father, Mr. Perry, and their relationship throughout the movie as they redefine the boundaries of love and authoritarian ways. Mr. Perry, a father who always expects unquestioning obedience, lives vicariously through his son’s life, and demonstrates his love by providing his son with opportunities that he never had.
Neal’s father, or sir, as Neal refers to him, always demands the utmost diligence and respect from his son, and as the expectations are always met, the line slowly blurs into expecting unquestioning obedience. We are introduced to Mr. Perry when he tells Neal that he canceled yearbook for him and Neal complains. Mr. Perry then pulls him out of his dorm and says, “Don’t you ever dispute me in public. Do you understand?” This shows the amount of diligence Mr. Perry expects, not because he is cruel or wants to ruin his life, but because he wants his son to be successful. Another important thing to notice is the words Mr. Perry chose. While Mr. Perry expects blind obedience all the time, he validates his feelings of Neal questioning him by explaining to himself and to Neal that it is just because it was in public. However, the harsh way he pulled Neal out of the room was not just a one time thing, because when Mr. Perry found out that Neal had deceived him by acting in a play, he shows up at his school, completely blindsiding poor Neal. When his son tries to explain, Mr. Perry cuts him off abruptly, beginning his rant with “Don’t you dare talk back to me!” and continuing to yell. Full of disappointment that his son, whom he thought was raised to listen to his directions, disobeyed, Mr. Perry doesn’t think of Neal acting as an opportunity, but as an act of defiance. He strongly feels that Neal is too young and full of hormones to understand what great opportunities he wants to throw away for a career that isn’t stable, and is willing to play the bad cop if it means his son will succeed in life.
With the passionate heartache of all his missed chances, Mr. Perry’s goal is to make peace with himself by giving great opportunities to Neal so he can live vicariously through him. When Mr. Perry and Neal talk about cutting yearbook, he tells Neal that he can do whatever he wants after he finishes medical school. This shows how Mr. Perry has his own ideal life planned out for Neal so he can experience it through his son. The manipulative part of this scene is that after he finishes medical school, Mr. Perry will most likely not stop harassing Neal. Just like in school, he will most likely say that Neal owes his parents for putting him through the expensive school and the least he can do for them is listen to what he says. Another example of the overbearing personality of Mr. Perry is when he finds out that Neal has been in a play, and he aggressively tells him, “I don’t care if the world comes to an end tomorrow night. You are through with that play.” Mr. Perry is not asking him to quit or giving him a choice, he is forcing him to stop, not for the betterment of his education, but because he doesn’t think it’s worth the time and commitment. The motive behind Mr. Perry’s words show that he is vicariously living through his son; he doesn’t want his son to act because he doesn’t appreciate “absurd acting business”. He uses a valid point that being an actor isn’t a stable career to pull a small play out of proportion.
Mr. Perry, while harsh and unfair, truly loved his son far past words. Instead of the traditional hugs and bonding time, Mr. Perry showed his love through his constant advice and providing hard to get opportunities. After Mr. Perry takes Neal home from the play and sits down to talk to him about military school, Neal complains, and Mr. Perry explains to Neal how many opportunities he has given Neal and how he will not let him throw them away. Even though Mr. Perry expects so much from Neal, at the end of the day, it is only because he loves him so much and wants the best for him. The demanding tones he takes with Neal is harsh, but it is the only way Mr. Perry knows, and he tries to make up for it with material things. When he sees Neal lying on the floor, his heart is shattered into thousands of pieces that can never be put back together. “My son! My poor son!” Mr. Perry is heartbroken at the huge loss of someone he loved and cared so much about. This side of Tom Perry is something that we have not seen until now, the vulnerable, weak side, the side that will do anything in the world to get back something that is lost. His grief-stricken face shows how much he instantly regrets the times he pushed Neal too far, and the pure anguish shows just how much he loved his son.
As a hard working father, Mr. Perry demands obedience, tries to experience Neal’s life alongside him, and provides everything his son could possibly need to show his love. Mr. Perry constantly pulls Neal out when he is talking to his friends in a dorm or after a play to tell him what he should do or what he is not going to do, regardless if Neal agrees or not. With Mr. Perry, we learn that cornering someone to try to prove a point or to make them do something, even if it is best for them, will only make them feel trapped and not actually help them grow or succeed. In this movie, Mr. Perry grows from demanding obedience and trying to live his son’s life to repenting his actions and forever regretting his take-charge attitude with Neal.
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